Christian Dating Sites

Are you making a crucial mistake about sin? Learn why this small distinction is holding you back from dating success. If you want to change your behavior, you’ve got to know how, and this idea was one of the biggest ones in western Christendom for centuries for a reason, from Augustine to Aquinas to Chemnitz to the modern day. And yes, it applies to your relationships with women in some pretty neat ways.
A little explanation of the terms, mortal and venial sin splits sin into two categories with useful applications for each. It’s not just “big” sin and “little” sin, but an excellent key for distinguishing what you personally are responsible for. A mortal sin is something that you choose to do that is wrong, with three conditions, free will, sufficient reflection, and deliberate consent. It’s wrong and you know it’s wrong while you’re doing it, you know exactly what you’re doing.
Venial sin is anything wrong that we do that has a defect in one of the three conditions, and is more in the nature of a mistake than deliberately choosing wrong. In other words, a venial sin is like aiming at a target and missing. Mortal sin is aiming directly at the ground and knowing that you are doing it.
Mortal sin is far more serious, because you have have far more control, and therefore responsibility. This is a freeing concept however because it helps make clear what you already know on some level, a lot of the mistakes and stupid stuff we do doesn’t justify the level of fear or guilt that we associate with it, we are not fully, only partially, responsible. So, every time you make a mistake, as long as you didn’t deliberately choose something you knew was wrong, there’s no reason to view the mistake as a terrible set back.
In many ways being a better man is bound up more in not screwing yourself up than in “doing” certain things (although that is necessary). If it’s not intentional, there’s no real reason to be afraid of screwing up. When dealing with ourselves and the opposite sex it’s normal to have little flashes of cowardice or neediness or any number of harmful things. As long as you’re not deliberately and consciously indulging them, it’s just part of the growth process.
If you avoid the deliberate decision to be cowardly or needy (more commonly this takes the form of focusing on these ideas), your true, and best self, can start to come out. You see, “sin” is, among other things, anything you do that is harmful to you and your relationship to God. Cowardice is certainly harmful, and is, as CS Lewis says, the only sin that is entirely painful, painful to contemplate, painful to experience, and painful to remember.
Bravery is, in some ways, your natural state. I think you’ll also find that when you stop deliberately choosing something that you know, at least confusedly, shows cowardice, the “little flashes” will have less frequency and intensity. You still can’t control them, but you can influence them.

Dating is not magic. Even Christian men can get better at attracting women. How do I know? Because I’ve already made the journey.
You see, in the beginning, I wasn’t just told no. Most frequently I just got a phone number for a girl that never picked up. Or, I went on what I thought was a date, only to find out later that she had a boyfriend and thought I was just being friendly. This happened several dozen times in a row (so many in fact that I lost track, “several dozen” is not exaggeration). It got to the point where if a girl gave me a straight no I would verbally thank her for being straight with me.
However, by changing what I how I was thinking and how I was acting, I started to get results. I flirted with girls and they flirted back. Then, I started going on dates where we BOTH thought it was a date. Better still, I even, shock, got girlfriends.
I learned that it didn’t have to be the way I thought it was, basically waiting for something to fall out of the sky and go my way. I learned that getting a girlfriend wasn’t magic, or luck, but knowledge and skill set, just like everything else.
I also learned about multitudes of men that had gotten knowledge and skills and gotten way better with women. I also learned that you didn’t have to sacrifice your faith or character to do it. I also learned that having a stronger relationship with God made it all easier.
You, as a man, are not supposed to be passive. God is not passive and you are made in His image. Why do we, as Christian men, think that everything else in life requires effort, but, somehow, since “God has somebody out there for you”, that this one issue will just “fall together” when “the time is right”. Who told us this? Does God say this?
For most of us step one can be easy. Think about what it means to be passive, is it manly? Does it honor God? Does it even feel good? Isn’t passivity just indifference? Isn’t courage a virtue? Don’t you always feel awesome after being courageous? So, why not try being active, actually pursuing what you know you want and know is right? Isn’t courage a virtue?
Way more is under your control than you think. God doesn’t ask of us anything impossible. Nothing goes anywhere until you take that first step. Be active, even if it’s just a little bit more. Be more aggressive, even if it’s just a little bit more. You don’t have to shoot for the moon right away. Then ask if this doesn’t somehow improve things, however little. Get into the habit of just taking smaller steps towards pursuing the opposite sex, and towards pursuing the things that you fundamentally want. Whether that’s learning more, or just screwing up the courage to ask one girl out a week, move forward. It costs you very little to try, just start moving and see if the first step doesn’t help you take the next one.